


My private life is a secret

by Grinedel



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-05 23:35:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4199340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grinedel/pseuds/Grinedel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Peter finally becomes an Avenger but omits to mention his husband and step-daughter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Steve walked through the corridors of Avengers Tower, holding the file Peter had completed with his infos earlier today.   
The newest addition to the Avengers would do great, Steve was certain of it.   
Maybe with time, Spider-Man would even become the best of them all. The boy’s good heart and powers were, for lack of a better word, amazing.   
Steve sat at the computer control panel to enter the infos in JARVIS’s database. As he entered Peter’s address though, JARVIS spoke up.  
“This address is already registered in another file, Captain.”  
Steve frowned. Was Peter living with another superhero?   
“Whose?”  
“The flat belongs to Wade Winston Wilson.” added the AI.  
Steve’s mouth fell open.  
“Well, that can’t be right… JARVIS call Natasha”  
“What’s up fossil?” came the super spy’s voice on the speaker.  
“Nat we’ve got a situation. I need you to check out Peter Parker’s address and confirm that he lives alone.”

*****************************************

Natasha Romanoff crept up silently to the conveniently open window. It was a very hot July, impossible to sleep with the windows closed unless you had AC. 

In the semi darkness of the bedroom, she could see two bodies lying on the bed, tangled in a thin sheet.   
She identified the first person as Spider-Man himself, the unmistakable mop of brown hair splayed on the pillow… and yes, that was indeed Deadpool drooling on the same pillow, holding Peter’s hand above the sheet. 

Natasha couldn’t help smiling. Despite the mercenary unconventional appearance, the two superpowered men looked incredibly cute in their sleep. 

The spy did a quick check of the apartment, just to make sure everything was in order and Peter was not being held captive or something like that by Wade.   
But anywhere she looked she could only find evidence of the hero’s domestic bliss. 

There were picture frames everywhere, mostly depicting Peter with a couple of old people Nat could only assume were the aunt and uncle he kept talking about. There were a few pictures of Wade that had been taken unbeknownst to the merc.   
Nat picked up a particularly big frame resting above the mantelpiece. The picture had been taken at Christmas, around a table sat Peter, Wade, a little girl and three old women, one of which was Peter’ aunt, another looked Hispanic like the girl and the third wore thick sunglasses (blind probably). Nat made a note to look into the identity of those people. Putting the frame back in its place, she suddenly heard a rustle behind her and turned sharply. 

She gazed down in surprise. There was the little girl from the picture, looking at her without fear but with great interest.  
“You’re Black Widow! I saw you on TV! Papa works with you now!”  
Natasha crouched down on the girl’s level and smiled at her.  
“That’s right! My name is Natasha, what’s yours?”  
“I’m Ellie! Ellie Wilson-Parker. I took Dad’s name. They said it was more convenient for the school and I like it!”   
“Is Wade your father?”  
“Yes!” beamed the child “He’s the best Dad! Peter is awesome too! When can Dad be an Avenger though?”  
Natasha lowered her head with an amused sigh.  
“He’s on the waiting list.” Natasha smiled. “Listen to me, Ellie, I’m here on secret Avengers business so you can’t tell anyone you saw me. It will be our secret, are you ok with that?”  
“Sure! I can keep an Avenger secret! One day I’ll get a mutant power, you know, then maybe I can be an Avenger too.”  
Natasha squeezed the child’s shoulder gently.  
“You will be a great warrior, Ellie, I can tell.” she winked. 

When the little girl was back in her room, Natasha let out the breath she had been holding and promptly left the apartment, feeling more like an intruder than an operative on a mission.  
She had to go back the way she came, through Peter’s bedroom window. She was thankfully skilled enough to do so without waking up the spider and the merc. Before leaping off the balcony, she turned back to the sleeping couple.

“Yeah I ship it.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha tells Steve and Peter is not amused.

Steve stood up when Natasha got out of the elevator into the Avenger’s living quarters.

 

“Please tell me everything checks out” he asked with tension in his voice.

The super spy smirked and waved her hand in a dismissal gesture.

“Everything’s fine, we can trust Spidey 100%. He’s a private person, that’ all”

“Private? What the fuck do you mean by that?” the soldier exclaimed, annoyed when Natasha just let herself fall on the sofa propping her feet up on the cheap coffee table. (you think the Avengers have expensive furniture? Nope, after the fifth time having their living room destroyed by aliens and evil robots, they started shopping at Ikea).

 

“Language!” snorted the red head.

“Full report right now Romanoff!”

“The itsy-bitsy spider was sleeping. And so was his dear husband. And to be honest with you Steve, the Wilson-Parker household looked every bit like something out of an Hallmark movie. They have a daughter too, I talked to her a bit, the sweetest kid I’ve ever met.”

Steve sat heavily on a chair and ran a hand through his hair.

“He lied to us, Nat. If that’s how he starts…”

“Steve no, he just kept his private life from us.” she interrupted. “You just learned about Clint’s family two months ago and you didn’t react!”

“Clint isn’t married to an insane mercenary!”

“Look at Wade’s file! There’s been no reports of activities about him for over 8 months! Give them a chance to explain.”

“You’re right, ok” Steve nodded.”We’ll talk to Pete tomorrow.”

 

**********************************

 

Peter shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He felt like he was back in High School, sitting in the Principal’s office.

Captain America had his arms crossed and a hard look. Peter wanted to jump through the window and swing away. Fortunately, the other Avengers sported looks of amusement and Black Widow was obviously trying very hard not to burst out laughing.

 

“So… um… what’s up guys? Is it Hydra? no? AIM? … seriously what’s going on?”

“Peter we’re a team, we will face many dangers together, honesty between us is extremely important” the Captain began.

 

Tony was the one to cut through the chase.

“We know about you and Deadpool, kid. Now tell us, we’re all very curious to know how THAT happened.”

 

Peter’s mouth dropped open and a permanent blush settled on his face.

“Oh. uummm. We… um… we got together three years ago and got married a year and a half ago… I… I had hoped you wouldn’t learn about it… Not that I don’t trust you all! It’s just… they’re my family, Wade and Ellie, and… “ he gestured to the assembled heroes “you’re my work.”

 

Peter got up and started to pace.

“Wade hasn’t been taking contracts for quite a while. He’s still a mercenary, but he only does recon and investigations now, solve the occasional kidnapping… he’s doing really well. Having Ellie back, the three of us becoming a family…”

Peter sighed and rubbed his eyes.

“Truth is, every time SHIELD or you guys asked Wade to work for you, it was always to KILL someone you didn’t want to deal with. You and Fury, you were happy to let him do the dirty work so you could keep your hands clean. So yeah, I’m keeping him away from you. Because he’s not strong enough to say no to you when you treat him like an assassin and not like the hero he’s thriving to be.”

 

When Peter was done with his speech, the Avengers were all looking uneasily at the floor.

 

“I’m sorry…” whispered Steve. The others nodded in agreement with Steve’s apology.

 

Peter smiled softly. “I’m not the one you should be apologizing to. Now if there are no alien invasions or world threatening evil plot, I must be going to my daughter’s dance recital.”

 

Natasha squealed “Can I come with you?”

“No” deadpanned the spider.

Nat faced dropped suddenly.

“But I’ll tape it and show you the video” the young man added with a wink, bringing a smile back on the spy’s face.

 

************************

 

Peter sat on the hard plastic chair in the school’s gym next to his husband who already had the camera pointing at the stage where the children would perform the spring pageant in a few minutes.

The young man kissed the merc’s scarred cheek.

“Glad you could make it, Baby boy! Ellie would have been hella disappointed if slimy pandimensional creatures had kept you from seeing her number.”

“I wouldn’t miss it, even if it WAS the end of the world.”

“What did the spandex crowd wanted to talk about then?”

“Us.”

 

Wade stared at Peter “They KNOW!?”

The spider smiled and rested his head on Wade’s shoulder.

“It’s okay, they’re fine with it, they understood.”

 

Before Wade could answer the lights went out and only the stage was visible. The music began playing and Ellie, in a Captain America mask and a red and blue tutu was singing as loud as she possibly could.

_Who’s strong and brave, here to save the American Way?_

_Who vows to fight like a man for what’s right night and day?_

_Who will campaign door-to-door for America,_

_Carry the flag shore to shore for America,_

_From Hoboken to Spokane,_

_The Star Spangled Man with a Plan!_

 

**************************************

 

Seeing the Avengers cooing at the tape of the pageant must have been the funniest thing Peter had ever witnessed. Not to mention Steve was blushing in embarrassment .

“I had honestly hoped people had forgotten about this” he mumbled.

 

Unbeknownst to the others, the captain kept an MP3 copy of the tape anyway, this was the most adorable version of the song he had ever heard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About the mention of Clint's family, I'm not a big fan of the MCU's decision to give Clint a family, but it fits with my story so...


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More cuteness. More surprises.

Tony rarely went to the mall, but a trip there had become necessary. Pepper’s birthday was coming up and she had been very clear about what she wanted AND that it would mean SO MUCH to her if he were to go shopping himself instead of sending an assistant.

What Tony didn’t expect from his trip at the mall was to happen upon Peter and Wade, both holding one of Ellie’s hand, lifting her in the air and swinging her between them, to the little girl’s delight. Peter spotted him and waved with his free hand. Aw, now he couldn’t run away from the sickening display of family bliss. Nonetheless, he went over to greet them.

“Hey Pete, hey Wade.” he looked down at the girl and smiled. “And you must be Ellie”.  
She smiled widely at him, nodding her head.

“We’re here to buy some school supplies” explained Peter.  
“I’m in second grade now! I’m getting a Hello Kitty school bag!” exclaimed the girl tugging on her fathers’ hands.  
“My daughter got good tastes” winked the merc, who had forgone the costume Tony was used to, and was wearing a simple hoodie and denims, his face surprisingly bare.  
“Yeah, I’m sure she gets that from you” Tony couldn’t help but tease with a smirk. But Wade only puffed his chest and looked even prouder.

**********************************************************

The Avengers were all nursing their boo-boos in the Tower’s living room after fighting the Skrulls in Central Park. Janet was bandaging Peter’s badly scratched shoulder with a thoughtful frown.

“Pete, how come you don’t wear a wedding ring? I mean, I’d get it if you took it off during fights but there is no mark around your finger.”  
“We thought having wedding rings would be a bad idea… We regularly lose our gloves and we don’t want to tip the villains off more than necessary that we have a family they could hurt.”

The young man suddenly blushed and added “We do have matching tattoos though.”  
Pietro appeared in a gush of wind in front of him. “Where? Where! Where? Wheeere??”

Peter turned an even deeper red. “Somewhere the villains, I hope, will never ever EVER see.”  
The spider huffed an embarrassed sigh when Wasp and Quicksilver dissolved in endless laughter on the floor.

************************************************************

Peter had become more relaxed about letting the Avengers near his family.  
They were polite with Wade, never mentioning his past, except for those light stories of parties gone wild.  
Clint and Wade liked to discuss the merits of fishing in Canada and the best spots in Alberta.

That is why Earth’s mightiest heroes were more than surprised when another member of the Parker family made an appearance at the Tower, sticking to the window and knocking on the glass to be let in, setting off JARVIS’s alarms. 

Peter let in the man dressed in an outfit similar to Spider-Man’s own but with a different pattern and greeted him with a warm hug the other barely returned.  
Peter wasn’t deterred by the man’s coldness and introduced him as his brother Kaine Parker.  
Kaine removed his mask and everybody stared at him. “I’m your clone not your brother.”  
The young hero put his arm around the other’s shoulders “Shhh you’re my bro, bro”.

He looked exactly like Peter excepted more gruff, resembling the human form of Grumpy Cat. Not bothering to answer the Avengers’ greetings, he turned to his brother and asked for help against a villain in Houston he couldn’t handle alone.

Steve crossed his arms and gave Peter an exasperated look. “Do you have other surprises like that?”  
The arachnid gave a sheepish smile. “Well…”

Steve got his answer two weeks later when Tito burst into the living room from a vortex, waving his light sabers about, yelling “Peeeteeer! Wade’s stuck on Earth-2149 AGAIN you gotta help!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have any more ideas for this fic. (but do rest assured that Pete and Kaine defeated the villain in Houston with Kaine turning into a giant spider and trying to eat Pete just once which is okay, and Peter and Tito did rescue Wade from zombieland and got home before Mrs Camacho who was baby-sitting could be worried)  
> Thank you for all the wonderful comments, keep 'em coming!  
> I DO have an idea for another fic though.
> 
> And before y'all ask, they got each other's symbols tattooed on their dicks.


End file.
